Horizontal Pole Dancing
by Cheating Death
Summary: "You're really good at that, ya know. Hell, you could probably make some money off of it." Hinata frowned at the silver-haired teen, confused as she glanced over at the uneven bars she had just been practicing on. "How?" She asked. Hidan smirked. "It's like horizontal pole-dancing." "E-E-Excuse me?"


**Here is my newest one-shot, which is random, stupid, and kinda perverted. Rated M for our favorite Jashinist's dirty mouth and mind.**

**Horizontal Pole Dancing**

"Hey, I'm doing it! I'm-AAAAHHHHH!"

"Tobi, you idiot! Not so much weight!" Deidara cursed and ran to help the masked boy, who was trapped underneath the weights he had attempted to lift. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Tobi thought for a moment as the blond try to heave them off of him. "My parents asked me that this morning..."

Itachi and Kisame watched with amusement at the sight, choosing not to get involved.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you do too much at once, un," Deidara scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Just because Hidan can bench press three hundred pounds, it doesn't mean that you should try it!"

Hidan laughed at Tobi, who was flailing helplessly beneath the weights. "I did warn you."

"Everything is going dark..." Tobi reached up towards the ceiling. "I think I'm dying! Gran-Gran, is that you!?"

"Knock it off!" Deidara finally freed the delirious teen, then shook his head. "Next time, start with the five pound weights, okay? You're not allowed to do anything higher until then, un."

Tobi sprang to his feet, acting as though he hadn't almost been crushed beneath the massive weight. "Alright, Sempai! Hey, maybe Hidan Sempai could give me some tips!"

"Whoa, don't fucking drag me into this bullshit," Hidan snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "_You_ decided to follow _me_ when I told you that I was going to the weight room after school."

Kakuzu looked over from where he was working out on a different machine. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you only stayed after school because you had detention, didn't you?"

"Oooh, Hidan Sempai is a trouble-maker!" Tobi taunted.

Hidan glared at him and took a step forward. "Why you little-"

The masked boy shrieked and hid behind an annoyed Deidara, who sweat-dropped and moved out of the way. "No, protect me!" Tobi exclaimed.

"Protect yourself, un," he grumbled back.

"But he's going to kill meee!" Tobi pleaded.

Hidan sighed. "Nah, you're not worth the fucking effort. Anyway, I'm fucking thirsty as hell, so I'm getting a drink from the vending machine."

"Oh, can you check to see if they have-"

"No," the silver-haired teen interrupted Tobi, walking briskly out of the weight room. "And don't fucking follow me."

He made his way down the hallway, annoyed that the vending machines were at the end. Who's bright idea was it to make the stupid machines all the way down there? Morons...

As Hidan walked down the corridor, he saw another room with the door slightly ajar. Curious, he poked his head in to see what was in there, as he had never actually checked before.

The first thing that caught his attention was a balance beam. Well, the girl who was standing on that balance beam, that is. She was unaware of his presence and continued on with her routine even as he snuck in to observe. Hidan watched as she bent far enough back to do a handstand, spreading her legs far apart as she balanced. She held the position for a few seconds before standing upright again. The girl then spun and did a backward walkover, the edge of the beam right behind her. For a moment he thought she was going to fall off the narrow beam. Instead, she did a round-off, followed by three back handsprings, landing gracefully at the opposite side.

"Damn," he muttered in a hushed tone, intrigued and turned on at the same time.

Not only were her moves impressive, but she was stunningly beautiful. Her long indigo hair had been tied back into a bun, and she wore a long-sleeved purple leotard that clung to her body. Hidan took a moment to check her out, liking what he saw; flat stomach, sexy toned legs, and a nice firm ass. And that rack of hers was quite impressive. He wondered how she managed to do such stunts with her breasts being so big. Not that he was complaining.

She did a split on the beam, before supporting her weight with her arms to push herself into another handstand._ Fuck, that bitch is flexible_. He felt like a creep just watching her, but couldn't seem to stop staring. She flipped back into an upright position, then cartwheeled twice before getting off of the balance beam. Still not noticing him, she made her way over to a set of uneven parallel bars.

_Okay, this I've got to fucking watch_. Hidan snuck into the room and stepped behind another piece of equipment to stay hidden, peeking his head around. The girl vaulted up and grabbed onto the upper bar, swinging her legs to gain momentum. She spun and flipped upwards, then grabbed the lower bar she descended. Hidan gaped at the display, watching as she continued with her practice, oblivious to his stares. Her flips and spins were graceful, and each time she spread her legs, Hidan felt more and more like a pervert. Her breasts seemed to jiggle slightly, and he was surprised how she was able to do all of those moves without accidentally hurting them.

After another minute of spinning and flipping between the two bars, she finally dismounted, panting softly as she regained her breath. It was at that moment that Hidan decided to reveal himself.

"Fuck, that was impressive," he said, stepping out of the shadows.

Hinata jumped in surprise, shocked that there was someone else in the room. Her eyes went wide for a moment before she blushed darkly. Her observer was a year or two older than herself, and extremely good-looking. His silver hair was slicked back away from his face, and his eyes were an intriguing shade of violet. He was shirtless, and his muscular body glistened with sweat from his recent workout. The only thing he wore was a pair of black and red basketball shorts, as well as sneakers.

Hidan smirked, noticing how she blushed and looked down at the floor. _A shy girl, huh? Cute._

"Um..." Hinata looked up at him after a few seconds. "H-How long were you there?"

"Long enough to see you swinging around on those bars over there," he told her, not admitting how long he had actually been there. "That was fucking awesome."

She was taken aback, surprised by the compliment. "Th-thank you."

"You're really good at that, ya know. Hell, you could probably make some money off it."

Hinata frowned at the silver-haired teen, confused as she glanced over at the uneven bars she had just been practicing on. "How?" She asked.

Hidan smirked. "It's like horizontal pole-dancing."

"E-E-Excuse me?"

"Yeah," he insisted. "With the way you were spinning around and spreading those legs of yours, you look like you could make some serious cash if you pursued it professionally."

Hinata's pretty face turned redder at the suggestion. "Y-You mean like a stripper?"

"Well, you wouldn't necessarily have to strip, but it would definitely be a bonus," he replied with a laugh.

"No, it's n-nothing like that," she stammered slightly, clearly mortified by the idea.

Hidan snorted, quirking an eyebrow. "Really? I beg to fucking differ. But seriously, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Someone as hot as you could definitely pull it off. You know how to fucking work those poles."

"They're bars, not poles," she told him, growing more and more embarrassed. "And I'm practicing for a tournament, not a job at the night club."

The older boy laughed and walked closer to her, until he was only a few feet away. He was amused at how flustered she became, and her gaze had dropped down to the floor.

"Well, I do know the owner of the bar at the end of the street if you're interested in a job," he said. "I'm sure he would appreciate your talents."

"I don't want a job at the bar," she told him firmly as she looked up at him, realizing just how much taller he was than her. "I-I'm not even eighteen yet!"

Hidan shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't worry, he won't ask questions."

Hinata couldn't hold his piercing gaze and dropped hers to the floor again, losing her nerve to continue with this debate. "No...just no..."

"Ah, come on. I was only fucking teasing," he told her with a half-smile. "You just looked like you would be fun to mess with."

The girl shyly looked up at him again, her cheeks still red. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" Hidan crossed his arms over his chest, noticing how her eyes lingered on his bare torso for a moment. "You're cute so I figured that I'd fuck around with you."

Hinata frowned slightly, though she couldn't help but feel slightly elated. It wasn't every day that a hot older guy randomly started a conversation with her.

"You are really good at that, though," he told her, smirking. "Hell, don't be surprised if I 'accidentally' stumble in during one of your practice sessions."

"Mm..." She couldn't help but think that his smirk was sexy, as Ino would call it. "Y-You can watch...as long as you don't hide in the shadows, that is. It's a little unnerving to think about people watching me while I don't notice..."

Hidan laughed. "Yeah, there are a bunch of fucking perverts out there." _Me included_. "So, do you have a name, or should I call you Pole Dancing Girl?"

Hinata blushed furiously all over again. "N-No, my name is Hinata."

"Pretty name for an even prettier girl," he told her, taking another step forward. "I'm Hidan."

"Umm..." Hinata couldn't respond, as he was so close to her.

He noticed her nervousness and leaned down a bit, putting his hand against her forehead. "Are you okay? You look a little feverish." He chuckled softly, enjoying the flustered expression on her face. _Really fucking adorable_.

"I-I'm fine," she murmured, unable to look at him as she tried not to lose her composure. "Really."

"Really? You don't look like you're fucking okay," he told her. "Maybe you should sit down."

_Oh, God, he's so close right now_... Hinata tore her gaze away from his alluring eyes and looked down instead. Bad idea. She was now staring directly at his chiseled bare chest.

"N-No...I'm fine," she finally squeaked out.

Hidan smirked and removed his hand from her forehead, gently putting it on her shoulder to steady her. "You sure?"

Hinata meekly nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. _Calm down... He's only a guy... An attractive shirtless guy..._

"But seriously, even if you weren't interested in becoming a pole dancer, I bet you'd be a freak in bed," he said.

She nearly fell over and looked up at him, shocked. "I-I beg your pardon!?"

He shrugged. "Well, fuck, with the way that you can twist and bend and do all that crazy flexible shit, you're like every guy's fantasy. I'll bet that you can put your legs behind your head, right?"

Hinata stared at him with the upmost shock. Was this guy for real? She'd never met anyone quite so...blunt, to put it nicely. He didn't think before he spoke from the looks of it. Either that, or he just didn't care what he said. Hidan wasn't the type to keep his mouth shut about such topics. Or anything for that matter.

"I'm complimenting you," he told her when she didn't respond, his grin as cocky as ever.

"B-By insinuating that I become a stripper and then telling me that I'm a freak in bed?" Her pretty eyes locked with his as she finally spoke up, humiliation written all over her face. "I-I wouldn't exactly call those compliments."

"Okay, how about this then? You have a nice ass and awesome tits."

Hinata crossed her arms across her chest modestly, her cheeks burning. "Hidan!"

The silver-haired teen laughed, amused by her reaction. "What, you wanted a fucking compliment, right?"

"Not like th-that," she stammered, suddenly feeling naked as he blatantly scanned his eyes up and down her body. "Y-You're just embarrassing me..."

Hidan snickered. "You're really fucking adorable, you know that? It's so easy to mess with you. Fuck, I'm not even trying to screw around with you at this point."

"Well, please stop it," she almost begged, wishing she could turn invisible.

"Alright, alright, I'll knock it the hell off." He chuckled softly, then took hold of her chin. "But only because I like you."

"Ummm..." Hinata was unable to look away this time.

Although Hidan's behavior was crude, she couldn't help but like him a bit as well. It wasn't like he was being mean to her or anything. He was only joking around.

With a laugh, he let go of her chin and slung an arm around her shoulders. "Now that I've made you uncomfortable to the point where you'd probably fucking run away if you had the chance, I think we're close enough to be friends. What do you think?"

"Ummm..." The girl blushed, tearing her gaze away. "I g-guess..."

"Oh, and if you ever catch pervy guys staring at you, let me know so I can kick their fucking asses for you," he told her.

Hinata gave him a flat look. "Like you?"

"I'm not a pervert," he responded in a calm tone. "I was simply observing."

"Observing, huh?" She couldn't help but crack a small smile before sighing with exasperation. "If you say so..."

"Hell, I think we'll get along great. You can tell me to shut the fuck up if I'm being an asshole, which is pretty often."

Hinata giggled. "Alright, but I won't be quite so rude about it..."

"Well, since we're such good friends now, maybe I can watch you finish practicing," he suggested, though he had a mischievous gleam in his violet eyes. "What do you think?"

"I-If you really want to," she said after a moment. "I don't mind."

Hidan smirked. "Sounds good. But before you start, can I just ask you one thing?"

Hinata gave him a slightly puzzled look. "Um, okay."

"Come here for a second."

The dark-haired girl leaned closer to him, feeling slightly anxious. "Yes?"

Hidan bent down and whispered into her ear. "For the record, I think you should start spinning around on those poles again. It was really hot."

Hinata didn't respond right away, but felt something strange against her skin. She looked down and was surprised to see a dollar bill stuck down the front of her leotard, between her breasts.

"That's for giving me a private show earlier," he said with a laugh, enjoying the shocked expression on her face. That earned him a smack on his bicep.

Hinata yanked the money out of her cleavage. "Hidan!" She balled it up and threw it in his face, mortified and angry at the same time.

"Kidding, I'm just fucking kidding." Hidan picked up the wadded money and stuck it back into his pocket.

The girl sighed. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"And now that we're friends, you're stuck with me," he told her with a victorious smile.

"Great," she replied flatly, sweat-dropping.

Hidan looked at her for a moment, a serious look on his handsome face. "I have another question for you."

Hinata flinched, not sure if she wanted to ask. "What?"

"How long have you been doing gymnastics?" He asked her.

With a sigh of relief, she gave him a smile. "Since I was four."

"I see. Can I ask you another question?"

Hinata nodded. "Sure, what is it?"

He stared at her for a moment, before reaching out and poking her breast. "How the fuck do you do it without the twins weighing you down?"

"H-Hey! D-Don't do that!" She jumped, blushing cutely.

"What, I'm just curious," he replied with a grin. "It's like you're defying gravity."

Hinata gave him a light push, aggravated with him. She was too embarrassed to say anything, however, and instead stood frozen in her spot. Hidan laughed and pulled her into a hug, pressing her against his bare chest.

"Yup, this is the start of a beautiful friendship." He rested his head atop hers, smirking as she trembled against him. "You agree?"

"Mmmm..." Hinata was unable to respond any further and simply allowed him to hug her tight.

Hidan was definitely the most brash person she'd ever met. He also had a very dirty mind and swore like a sailor. However, his hugs felt good and he offered to keep away any future perverts who happened to stumble in on her. Although he himself was quite perverted...

Deidara and Sasori, who had shown up a little while ago, happened to be passing by the room. Hearing Hidan's voice, they stopped to poke their heads in. Deidara's jaw dropped when he noticed the foul-mouthed teen embracing a beautiful girl, who was blushing profusely. Sasori's face remained expressionless as ever.

After a moment, Deidara sighed. "Even though Hidan's a loud, obnoxious asshole, he always gets the girls, un..."

**Gotta love Hidan being a freaking pervert. Not my best work, but it was fun to write. Which is all that matters.**

**Tobi: But if you write bad stories, no one will like them, right?**

**Me: ...I suppose...Shut up and leave me alone! *runs away***

**Tobi: ...Oooh, I found a nickel!**


End file.
